I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
