my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize