just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
