If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
