drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
