real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
