Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
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DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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