RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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