The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
