I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
