What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
