Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
