it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
