hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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