she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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