My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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