babies were throwing up all over the place
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
