Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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