Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
she peed on how many people?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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