why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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