Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize