The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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