Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
