I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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