Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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