it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
