When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
