I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I am never drinking with the goths again.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize