I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
