I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
