Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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