i think my mom watched the whole time
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
