you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
