saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
