put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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