it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
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The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
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