Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
