Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
