A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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