Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize