Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
