you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
