when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
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the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
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WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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