So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Where are you guys?
Drunk
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
