I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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