This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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