So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
