oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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