Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
