therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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