if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Me too!
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
