party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
