he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
