I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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