You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
