Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
