Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize