North Korea, Best Korea!
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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