when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
