The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
