i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
babies were throwing up all over the place
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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