Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
