so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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